Posted by: Allyson | 22 February, 2009

Why The Femme Domestic?

Over the few months previous to the birth of this site, I have been completely preoccupied with the notion of being / presenting myself as my true self. While that sounds, of course, like a broad stroke of a statement, most of what that has meant for me is a need to throw out all shame surrounding my sexual self. This has become my project.

So, why is that so hard? Well — it is, of course, hard for a huge portion of our population — and for me, I’ve had more than a few things stacked heavily against me. I was born and raised (and still live) in The Bible Belt, the middle child in an extremely religious (Christian) family. I’m a P.K., or preacher’s kid, who was told at fifteen that if she ever got knocked up out of wedlock her father would have to RESIGN HIS JOB. This would strike fear in the heart of any kid, especially one who is already realizing she’d rather kiss the girls than the boys.

Kissing boys was something I did, though. I kissed girls as a teenager, but mostly I kissed boys. When I moved out of my parents’ house, I immediately came out to everyone outside my family as bisexual. A few years and a few women’s studies courses later, I came out as a lesbian who occasionally slept with men. Next came the realization that I preferred (and was mainly attracted to) butch women as lovers.

Now, I’m in my late twenties. I have been with my incredible girlfriend for over two years, and I’ve got some more coming out to do. I identify not only as a lesbian/dyke, but as a femme. I am primarily attracted to butch women. I am a sexual submissive who is constantly wanted to know (and experience) more of the world of BDSM.

I have so much more to learn.

Now, at this point, you may thinking, “why pin yourself down with so many labels?” I completely understand (and in many instances believe to be true) that labels can be restrictive. For me, however, this journey is about self-awareness and freedom. There is SO MUCH out there that I have yet to encounter, and I want to be OUT THERE finding all that I can. I am looking for teachers and friends. I am looking to be turned on, and in some cases, I am looking to turn you on.

I want to write it all down.

Now — The Femme Domestic is not only about sex. It is also about my homelife and my education. It is about my love for handcrafts and the correlation I feel between creating things and my expression of self/gender. It is about my over the top affection for my pets. It is a place to showcase what I have made as well as what I have learned. The Femme Domestic is me, and I want to thank you for joining in.

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